How To Use Negotiation In Conflict Resolution In 5 Simple Steps

“I’m so excited to mediate a conflict between 2 of my employees today” said no one ever! 

If you’ve got a nerve wracking conflict resolution convo coming up and you want to know how to handle it without crashing and burning, you’re in the right place. 

Ever watched one of those action movies with a hostage negotiator calmly talking someone off the ledge of a tall building? Pretty intense, right? 

Well, that’s basically the art of negotiation in conflict resolution—minus the life-or-death stakes, of course.

Now, I’m guessing the conflicts you deal with at work aren’t quite as dramatic, but let’s be real- the nerves and anxiety that come with it can surely make it feel like life or death.

The good news? The concepts are pretty similar, but fortunately, the stakes aren’t nearly as high! 

Conflict is just a fact of life. Whether it’s hashing out where to go for the next family vacation or disagreeing over budget cuts in a meeting, conflict sneaks into our lives whether we like it or not. 

If you’re here, you’ve probably faced your fair share of tricky situations—maybe a disagreement at work that threw you off, or a conflict with an employee that you wish you’d handled differently. 

So, if you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Why does conflict have to be so stressful?”—you're in the right place.

I’ve been there, and I’m here to make it a little easier for you. 

My goal is to take away some of that stress and share a few realistic, actionable tips that will help you handle conflict with a little more confidence and hopefully make it a little less scary!

Negotiation = Collaboration

Negotiation in conflict resolution isn’t about winning or losing—it’s about influence, connection, and collaboration.

In fact, you’re already doing it every day, and it’s a whole lot easier than you might think. 

Ever convinced a friend to try out a new restaurant? Or managed to get your family to pick the mountains instead of the beach for vacation this year? 

Yep!  That’s negotiation in action!

Negotiation is simply about collaboration—bringing people together, finding common ground, and working toward a solution that works for everyone. 

It's about influencing others, (without being pushy) being flexible and building trust, something you’re probably already doing without even thinking about it.

Whether you’re suggesting a compromise on where to eat or figuring out how to split up a project at work, you’re negotiating. 

You’re using your natural ability to persuade, listen, show empathy and to meet in the middle.

So, when conflict pops up, just remember: You’re already better at negotiation than you realize.

You’ve got this!

Step #1 

Listen First—What Do They Want?

The first and most crucial step in resolving any conflict is to remember it’s not about one person or winning and losing. 

Even if you feel like you already know what they want, don’t skip this step!

We’re often so eager to jump in with solutions that we forget to ask, “Hey, what’s actually going on here?” Or “What’s most important to you in this?” 

Be fully present and listen to understand, not listen to reply.  I’m talking about really listening, not the kind where you’re just waiting for your turn to talk. 

Listening first not only makes the other person feel valued, but it also helps you get to the root of the issue. 

Let’s say you’re in a meeting and someone’s pushing hard for an earlier deadline. 

Instead of jumping in with reasons why it can’t be done, you could try asking, “What’s driving that deadline for you?” 

There might be details that you weren’t aware of and could have been missed by jumping to a conclusion without all of the information. 

Once everyone feels that they have been heard and understood, they’re more likely to feel validated and open up. That’s where the real collaboration can begin.  

Need the right words? Try these to get you started!

• “I’m all ears—what’s your ideal outcome?”
• “Can you help me understand where you’re coming from?”
• “Tell me more about what’s important to you here.”
• I’m curious—what would a successful outcome look like for you?”
• “Can you tell me what the biggest challenge is for you right now?

Step #2

Find Common Ground—Build Trust

Once you’ve got a good sense of their perspective, it’s time to find some common ground in order to build trust. . 

Without trust, conflict resolution doesn’t stand a chance. 

You don’t have to walk away as besties, but everyone needs to trust that each person has good intentions and wants a win-win solution.

So how do you do that? 

It’s not about agreeing on everything (because, let’s be real, that’s not happening). 

Start by finding at least one thing you can agree on and use that as your jumping-off point. 

It can be something as simple as, “We both want this project to succeed,” gets you started. 

If you get the sense that it’s going to be difficult for the other person (or people) to be receptive, you can agree on something unrelated, like the weather. “It’s a beautiful day today” 

By starting off with even a tiny yes It starts off with an agreement and prevents immediate going into defense mode which would bring the whole thing to a screeching halt. 

The more tiny yes’s you can start with, the better. 

Once you have done that, you can begin to move on to the bigger issues. 

Example: Say you’re stuck in a disagreement over resources with another department. 

Start with something you both agree on, like…..

“It sounds like we’re both trying to make sure our teams have what they need—why don’t we try to explore some options that balance both teams' needs?.” 

Boom! You just found some common ground, and now you’re building trust and moving forward together.

Here’s a few more examples to try

• “Given the circumstances, it makes sense why you feel that way and why you want ___” 
• “It seems like we both care about _____ what do you think is the best way to approach this?”
• I know we’re both invested in making this successful. Let’s figure out how.”
• “Thank you for sharing that with me, I wasn’t aware of that, what do you think we should do?” 
• “It sounds like we’re on the same team with different ideas. Let’s see where our ideas overlap and go from there.”

Step #3

Reasonable and Realistic Compromises

Negotiation isn’t about one person winning and the other losing—it’s about meeting in the middle. 

Think of it like sharing the last slice of pizza. You don’t want to take it all for yourself, but you’re not giving it up either. 

The trick is to find reasonable, realistic compromises that everyone can live with. Sometimes that means making small adjustments that don’t feel like you’re sacrificing too much.

Let’s say you’re working with a super tight budget, and you need to make some cuts. 

Instead of slashing a key part of the project, you might say, “What if we delay this part of the project for next quarter? That way, we can stay on track without compromising the quality.”

It’s all about finding those middle-ground solutions that everyone can agree on without feeling like they have to give up something that is really important to them. .

Here are some phrases to help

• “Would you be willing to consider [alternative]?”
• I’m open to working with you on this—what’s one change that would help?”
• Would you be open to trying this for  [a set time] and reviewing afterward? 
• “I’d be willing to [do/change/fix X] if you could [do/change/fix Y].”
• What if we adjust this part and see if that makes it more doable for everyone?”

Step #4

Agreement and Commitment

Now that you’ve found common ground, and made a few compromises — It’s time to seal the deal and make sure everyone’s on board. 

And I’m not just talking about a quick “Yeah, sounds good.” You want real commitment, where everyone’s walking away knowing exactly what was agreed upon and ready to follow through.

Example: After you’ve reached a decision, try saying, “Just to make sure we’re all on the same page, we’ve agreed to move forward with [insert solution]. Is everyone okay with that?” 

And if you’re in a one-on-one convo, throw in, “Does that feel good to you?” The key is to get everyone nodding along, so there’s no room for miscommunication later.

A phrase I often used with my team in situations like this was “team together, team apart” which meant that everyone was aligned and that there wouldn’t be sidebar conversations later. 

It meant that even if it took a little bit longer to come to consensus about something, it was worth it to minimize tension and unnecessary conflict down the road. 

Here are some phrases you can use to check for agreement

• “So, just to make sure we’re all on the same page, we’ve agreed to [insert solution]. Does that sound right?”
• “Is everyone comfortable with the next steps we’ve discussed?”
• Before we wrap up, does anyone have concerns about what we’ve decided?”
• “Can we agree on this timeline to make sure we’re all aligned?”
• “If everyone’s on board, I’ll go ahead and make sure we start implementing this plan.”

Step #5

Follow Up and Follow Through

Here’s the last (but definitely not least) step—follow through. 

Because, all the negotiating in the world doesn't mean a thing if no one actually does what they said they’d do. 

Show that you care and that it’s important by following up on what was discussed.

After a big meeting, drop a quick note to the other person or team: 

“I want you to know how much I appreciate willingness to share ideas and contribute. Just checking in to see if there’s anything you need or if we missed anything.”

“By showing gratitude and offering support, it reinforces the trust and keeps everyone on track. 

It also keeps the door open for future collaboration and continues to build trust, making future conflict resolution a lot easier (or even unnecessary!).

Keep these phrases in your back pocket for when it’s time to wrap things up

• “I’ll follow up with an email summarizing what we discussed—sound good?”
• “Can we schedule a check-in to see how things are going with this plan?”
• “Let’s keep an open line of communication and check in if anything changes.”
• “How about we set a reminder to regroup on this next month?
• Let’s make sure to stay in touch—if anything changes on your end, feel free to give me a heads-up, and I’ll do the same.”

Ready to Feel Confident Tackling Any Conflict?

Book a free Discovery Call with me and talk about how we can create a custom plan for your specific needs.